Below is a freelance article from 2013.

Individuation and Relationships

Individuation, the process by which individuals in society become differentiated from one another, is one of the most important aspects to maintain in a relationship. When you begin to lose your sense of self, your partner may no longer see the person who they fell in love with years, or months, ago. Sex and relationships at any age, including midlife, depend highly on how each partner maintains their individuality while truly understanding one another. Maintaining your individuality leads to higher intimacy in both the bedroom and in the relationship. At times, it’s difficult to differentiate sex and emotions, but in an intimate relationship, sex should be filled with emotions.

One way to maintain, or regain that sexual intimacy is by choosing to remember who you are as an individual, understanding your partner as an individual, and contributing both of your qualities to the relationship.

Remember, there was that one point in time where you and your partner loved one another based on personality, quirks, beauty, and everything in between. When we continue pursuing our personalities, goals, and dreams, we can maintain the intimacy that seems to be diminishing.

Losing That Spark: How To Regain It

It’s easy to lose that sexual and intimate spark when the unavoidable boredom kicks in. You find that you and your lover are stuck in routine. You cannot let this boredom suppress that personality and creativity that you once had long before the two of you committed to each other. In fact, your personality, creativity, beauty, and those lovely little quirks that your partner finds irresistible are not gone, they are just in hiding. Our individual selves hide when interactions become routine, and the best way to regain the individuals we once were is to do something out of the ordinary. If it’s emotional intimacy you are seeking to regain, try exploring a new area of the country, or sign up for some ballroom dancing classes to get your hearts beating again. If it’s the sexual intimacy you’re seeking, try something different in the bedroom. Go out and purchase a Karma Sutra book and attempt some positions. You may even realize that your body can bend that way.

Maintaining individuality is crucial for a healthy relationship because both partners are bringing their own unique qualities to the table.  Although it’s necessary to feel as one, we build that intimate bond by combining both of our individual spirits into one greater whole. After all, it’s our individual traits that formed the bonds of the relationship, and no one understands how individuation can promote a healthy relationship like sexologist [].

[] will help you reignite the love and intimacy you may have lost over the years. She is a certified sexologist who uses innovative approaches to guide couples in the direction of a healthy sex and intimate relationship. [] will provide you with the most effective sex and relationship advice, either during midlife or after you have a baby, so you can finally share those intimate moments you desire.