This article appears on Elite Daily.
Being a single woman in college is by no means easy. Everyone around you is pairing off while you fill your days with homework. I was single all throughout college, and it was at times painful, annoying and even depressing. But I kept reminding myself that finding a career post graduation is far more important than finding my soulmate. But, it’s still not easy being a single woman in college, especially when you’re the only single one out of all of your friends.
That said, here are six thoughts you have as a single woman in college.
1. Oh gosh, I’m going to be single forever.
This thought was always the first to cross my mind, but it’s not the truth. It may seem that way now, but in reality, you’re establishing a foundation for yourself that you can use for the rest of your life. And when your foundation is stable enough, someone you will want to date will appear.
2. How am I the only one who is single?
Although most of your friends are paired off doesn’t mean that you’re the only one who’s single. In truth, there are plenty of single people in college; you just need to find them by going out and expanding your horizons. In the long run, you will have far more adventures than those who already settled on someone.
3. Will my girlfriends still want to party with me even though they all have boyfriends?
College is the time when we’re meant to go out, party, make mistakes, and have fun. And when all of your friends are in relationships, you may worry that they won’t want to go out anymore. Here is some good news for you, they probably will. College students love to party, and you may have to deal with their significant other at the bar, but for the most part, there won’t be much of a damper on the partying.
4. These four years of loneliness better pay off with an excellent career.
When you’re single and surrounded by couples, you may feel some loneliness, but you remember that you’re still single for your personal reasons. More often than not, relationships are a distraction for what we should be doing. Choosing to be single in college may be a bit lonely, but just keep telling yourself that you will find a job out of college because you were able to put most of your time and effort into your studies and your future and not into another person.
5. Well, at least I can still have sex while focusing on my studies.
I always thought that most people paired off in college because they found someone for sex. But when you’re single, you know that getting laid, especially in college, is an incredibly easy task. A majority of college students understand that college is the time to get out those sexual fantasies. So when you’re single, you have far more opportunities to explore yourself and others out there. It helps make up for the fact that you don’t have a significant other.
6. I must be getting someone super spectacular.
This last thought is something that I told myself for several years. As stated earlier, I was single all throughout college. It was my choice. I knew that no one had what I wanted in a significant other, but they had enough to give me pleasure. So even though I was alone, and I wanted to cry on someone’s shoulder during rough times, I knew that I was single because there was someone perfect waiting for me. But I also knew that I wouldn’t meet him until after I built my foundation. I told myself to wait until I have a career, and then I will find an established partner to enjoy later in life. And it’s the truth. After all, the best relationships happen between two people with stable foundations and their personal sense of identity.
Being single in college is one of the most challenging experiences. Whenever your friend does poorly on an exam, they can call their boyfriend and cry on his shoulder. Whenever you have something far more dramatic happen in your life, you need to rely on yourself for comfort and security. But being single in college will make you stronger than most. While everyone has someone to lean on, you are relying on yourself. When everyone else is concentrating on their future with their significant other, you’re establishing a name for yourself. You have so much information to absorb in college, and most of the time, it’s best to try and understand that information without relying on someone else for comfort. And although it can be a sad and lonely journey, just remember there are bars, parties, and experiences everywhere for you to enjoy during the best four years of your life.