Your vibe attracts your tribe. There is a lot more to that statement that I think most people realize. I, for one, just thought it was a silly wanderlust quote plastered on notebooks and fridge magnets. But then, a few months ago, I noticed that my friends were all terrible people, which made me think to myself…why do I have so many terrible friends?
So I took a step back and realized that whenever I’m dealing with inner turmoil, I attract those who embody that turmoil. I assume it’s so that I can address my inner issues because no matter how much dirt I throw on my trauma, that dirt only gives my trauma a better environment for it to grow stronger roots. Then those roots become so strong that I subconsciously attract those negative people who will water them for me.
And that’s how I think we come into having a shitty circle of friends.
The sad part is that we rarely notice that our friends are terrible until we start to feel better about ourselves. Unfortunately, it isn’t always easy to start feeling confident and worthy when our friends constantly remind us that we’re neither of those things.
Now since it can be incredibly difficult to spot terrible friends, especially when we’re in a subconsciously needy state, I compiled a list of the three types of friends that are bad for your overall health.
the Insecure One
This friend likes to make you feel terrible because they hate themselves. This is the friend that only wants to do anything if there’s a chance it leads to finding a date at the end of the night. This is the friend that calls to rant and rave about all of her dates but loses interest the instant you open your mouth. This friend loves to remind you that you’re going to die alone if you aren’t married by twenty-four. This friend is bad for your inner work, especially if you’re OK with being alone during such a time because they won’t understand it. Instead, they will just get upset when you talk about your problems and say “I’m not your partner! I’m not supposed to listen to your problems and try to comfort you.” This insecure friend does not know the difference between being a good friend who lends an ear, and a man sticking his dick in you. To this friend, friends are just there to talk about stupid shit, and the opposite sex are there to give you emotional and physical validation.
Say goodbye to this insecure friend and never look back. Shitty partners will always be their priority anyways.
The Arrogant one
You would think an arrogant friend is better than an insecure friend, and in a sense, you’re right. An arrogant friend at least likes to go out whether or not there are opportunities to meet a potential partner. But other than that, they can be pretty bad for your mental health. This friend believes that they are a God who have already experienced everything in the world. This is the friend who cannot handle someone having a similar experience to them because it threatens their unique persona. In reality, arrogance is just insecurity in disguise, and this arrogant friend will lash when they perceive anything as an attack on the ego. Unfortunately, anything can be an attack on their ego, and their immediate response is to belittle the other person in front of others to assert their dominance.
It may take longer to realize when you are dealing with an arrogant friend. If it seems that this friend wants you to believe that you need them in your life, then leave this friend behind. You are more than capable of having an incredible life without this person, so go forge your own path to happiness.
The Dream Killer
This friend doesn’t believe that you can accomplish your dreams. Dump them. After all, no dream is too grand to be a goal, and people achieve goals all the time. The only limit to your possibilities are the limits you put on yourself. Keeping a friend around who constantly undercuts your ability to achieve your dreams will only hold you back from moving forward.
Say goodbye to this friend and keep ahead on your journey. Soon, you will find the success of your dreams.
Now remember, most of the time you’re attracting these people into your life for a reason. Maybe you’ve been traumatized by a certain individual so much that you crave people like them to make you feel safe. Maybe you were bullied as a child and now your self-worth comes from the validation given by the same types people who bullied you.
The truth is that you may not figure out what is bothering you internally until you open your eyes to your external world. That is because we are able to see what is in our space after we remove the clutter. You may be alone for a bit of time while you do some housecleaning. However, after you do the inner work and regain your self-worth and confidence, you will quickly attract supportive and healthy friends.