When it comes to bullying, I have one too many opinions. I believe that first, we need to understand the bullied, not the bully. The bully will not stop tormenting, but the bullied can change the way they perceive being bullied. The bullied can view insults as compliments. However, I have another stance when it comes to bullying, and that is an issue with parents. Parents are making it too easy for their children to be bullied by providing them with smart phones, laptops, and all types of social media outlets. If only these teenagers had to deal with what my generation had to, and mind you, I am not that old, I think these teenagers would have more important things on their mind rather than harassing other students.
So here is my opinion. For one side, I stand with the bullied. I believe that our focus needs to be on their development into adulthood. We should not focus on stopping the bullies from harassing others. However, I believe that parents need to take more responsibility for their children and understand that they are contributing to the bullying, whether they believe it or not. But let us start with the first end because I strongly believe that we must focus on the mindset of the bullied, not the bully. In my next post, I will discuss how the parents have contributed to bullying and what they could do to change it.
Forget Stopping the Bullies. Encourage the Bullied to Change Their Mindset.
The efforts to try and stop bullying seem pointless because we can never prevent people from bullying. In fact, our society is attempting to tackle this issue from the wrong angle. We can never stop bullies. Instead of focusing all of the efforts on trying to convince threatened people that bullying is bad, we need to start focusing on encouraging and teaching the bullied that it is how they react to bullying that can stop the torment that they endure on a daily basis.
The bullied need to understand that most people ridicule because the bullies see something in them that they wish they saw in themselves. They also bully to encourage their social standing because they simply cannot make it into the “in” crowd without hurting someone else. What does that tell you? They want to be popular, and since they are not popular naturally, they result to bullying. Other types of bullies really just have absolutely nothing better to do with their time, so they go out of their way to destroy the life of someone else. Bullying is always ridiculous and is always rooted from insecurity. People do not simply bully because they feel great about themselves. They bully because they see something great about someone else, and they hate it.
Bullies cannot be stopped. We cannot turn ignorance and desperation to knowledge and logic. So instead of trying to beg the bullies of the world to stop tormenting others, we need to help the bullied understand why people bully. We need to boost their confidence. We need to speak with the bullied and help them realize that there is something special about them worth talking about. And even something greater about them that makes the others want to destroy it. Plus, in high school, there are only so many students. One thing that we really need to teach the bullied is that when they go to college, most of those college students will never even know what happened in the past. College is a fresh new start, and a true time to transform ourselves.
Of course, the bullying tends to start at an early age, such as elementary school. Most of the time, if a boy is picking on a girl at this age it is because he likes her. However, if a child is being bullied by the same sex, or just simply being bullied to the point where they hate going to school, we need to teach these kids that old saying that we all knew and grew up on. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me. We need to teach the children that they are being bullied because they are special. You who is being bullied, you are being bullied because there is something great about you that your bullies do not have, but they want. People bully you because their lives are imperfect, and they see something about yours that they desire.
Children, teens, and adults need to understand that the bullied are being complimented, not insulted. That if someone, or a group of somebodies, want to harass you, it is a compliment that they would spend their words and free time discussing and harassing you. If they can’t keep your name out of their mouths, you must be something worth talking about. Or, simply put by the rapper Plies, “You ain’t doing something right if you ain’t got them hating.”
Bullying Will Never Go Away.
It is sad to say, but bullying does not end in high school. In fact, I was bullied all throughout college as well. Actually, I found that dealing with bullies was much easier in college than in high school. In college, you have at least 20,000 other students, depending on the size of your school, to spend your time with, so escaping the torment is much easier. Plus, most people in college do not see a point in bullying others. It is just the few stragglers that have their own issues that result to bullying.
However, changing our mindset to understand that insults are compliments not only help us come to terms with bullies, but it also boosts our confidence and helps us become the strong individuals that we were always meant to be.
I guess what I am trying to say here is that we need to change the way we view insults, instead of trying to stop the others from throwing insults. We need to understand that if people want to waste their time on us, the bullied, then we are something damn special worth talking about. That all of these insults are actually compliments, and that they are making us into the strong human beings that we were always meant to be.
We must change our mindsets, not change their actions. We must become strong, independent individuals, not beaten down animals Bullying is a test to our strength. We need to come out strong. We need to pass the test. We need to become what we are meant to become.
There will always be bullies, but we do not have to stand for being bullied.