This article appears on Elite Daily.

We live in a society where finding our other half consumes our daily lives. We have Tinder, OK Cupid, Match, and Eharmony flooding our phones and computers. There is even a Truth commercial about how smoking ruins your chances at finding a date. That’s how consumed we are with having a special someone.

We so desperately want to find the perfect person that we search until we find someone who fits the mold. But this isn’t how we should go about our dating lives. Instead, we need to focus on ourselves if we ever hope to find our other half.

Here are five reasons why you won’t find your other half.

Reason 1: You always have a steady sexual partner
There is a big difference between a one-night stand and a steady sexual partner. One night stands are fine, especially when you’re single. You’re getting a fix, and there aren’t any attachments. However, always having a steady sexual partner drastically reduces the chances of you finding your other half. Why? Because you are sleeping with someone who you already know isn’t the one, but you want to have sex. So you continue a sexual relationship to “hold you over” until you find The One.

Well, you can’t open the door for your other half if your sexual needs are already being met. You won’t be able to listen to the universal signals when you’re already satisfied. I am fine with people having sex, but if you truly want to find your other half, you can’t always have a steady sexual partner. You’re essentially shutting the door of opportunity.

This reason may not seem to make sense, but let’s look at the logic. If you’re single and waiting for your perfect person, you won’t find them because your internal insecurities are already being satisfied. Therefore, you just shut the door on your other half. They can’t enter if you don’t open the door.

Reason 2: You are impatient
This reason should just make sense. We have all heard the saying that it happens when you least expect it. I believe that there is truth in that. When you keep searching, you’re not living your life. Instead, you are ignoring your true path trying to find the perfect person. You won’t find them by spending all free hours of you day searching the internet. You will find them by leading your life.

Be patient. The reason you two haven’t met yet is because either one or both of you isn’t in the right state of mind. That means we need to work on ourselves. We need to be happy by ourselves. We need to let go of the baggage that feeds our fears. When you are ready to love without fear, you will find your other half.

Reason 3: You don’t listen to the signs
The universe is always directing you, but you may not be listening. Instead, you think that because you haven’t met them yet, then you probably won’t. The universe is tapping on your door so that it can lead you to the perfect person. But if you’re not listening, how are you going to follow the path that leads to your other half? Take a few minutes to look around you. Are you staying with a person because you think you won’t find the perfect match? Are you doing the wrong thing and know it, but refuse to walk away because you feel like you have no other options? Listen to what your gut feeling is telling you to do. Your gut feeling is always right. If your gut is telling you to take a solo trip, do it. Always follow your heart. It’s the universe directing you down the right road, and for a good reason.

Reason 4: You refuse to break the bond with an ex
You are never going to find your perfect person if you keep your ex on the line. It’s a fact. It doesn’t matter if they have you hooked or the other way around. If you maintain that bond with your ex, you won’t ever find your other half. I’ve said it once, and I will say it again. If you have dated more than twice, then the person isn’t right for you. It doesn’t matter if distance or unhappiness was the reason for the breakup. If you broke up due to distance, then neither of you found it suitable to maintain a relationship. That should be a bright sign. If you two were truly meant to be together, there would be no distance that could hold you back.

But, if you truly believe that trying the same relationship over and over and over and over and over and over again is the way to go, then knock yourself out. But don’t be surprised when you find yourself in a loveless marriage with an incompatible partner who you already knew wasn’t the right one for you. Then make your children suffer the divorce because you were too blinded to terminate the bond when you should have.

Reason 5: You lost faith
We all lose faith at some point or another. We think my gosh I’m 34. Am I ever going to find that person? I feel like I’ve been waiting years, but she just won’t show up. She won’t show up because you’re too busy seeing an ex, not listening to the signs, and being impatient. You must have faith that the universe will bring you together when the time is right. But if you can’t fix yourself first, then you won’t meet your other half. If you firmly believe that there is the perfect person for you, then that person exists. The universe told you so just by giving you the idea that your perfect person exists.

You must restore your faith. You must break the unhealthy bonds. You must truly embrace life and open your heart to love.

I know that it can be hard to wait. I have been waiting for years. I am still waiting. But I know that I can’t lose faith. We can’t focus our energy on continually trying to find that person. You have to listen to your heart. Listen to your gut feeling. Follow your intuition. Follow your path to your other half.