We all go on first dates. Whether we find that date on Tinder, OKCupid, Match, or Eharmony, we all are capable of making first date mistakes. We know that the first rule of dating bans the discussion of the exes, politics, and religion. Most of us are pretty decent at keeping these three topics to ourselves, except for the guys I choose to date.

Personally, I am not too great at first dates. I actually haven’t been on a date in quite a while. But, if memory recalls correctly, I do recall the big DON’T that I made on a few first dates: getting too drunk. But, since I needed some updated information on what not to do, I asked an anonymous friend. And just like Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation, all of these things have happened to her on a first date.

1. Don’t cry
Don’t bring up something stupid and start crying about it. A first date is not there to bring you comfort. The first date is there to see if you two have enough in common that you would consider a second date. Or a first date could simply be just to get laid. Regardless, crying on the first date is a great way to look like an unstable person who shouldn’t be dating at all. If you are dating simply because you just got out of a relationship, you should probably wait a few months and then consider looking for a first date.

2. Don’t drink too much
I have made this mistake one too many times. Getting too drunk on your first date is a big NO! First off, you will probably start spilling secrets, or the wine. Secondly, you look sloppy. Thirdly, it shows that you’re uncomfortable, and the only way you know how to handle it is through drinking too much. Finally, it just looks bad. I have lost several great prospects because I got too drunk on the first date. In all fairness, it was college, and I underestimated my wine tolerance. Still, getting too drunk is never a good idea.

3. Don’t be creepy
Don’t say things like “I can’t wait to get married!” That just shows that you have an agenda, and you’re looking for anyone to fulfill that position. Also, don’t talk about their social media presence. That just makes you look like a stalker. If you have memorized every social media post, although that is creepy in itself, at least keep it to yourself. Personally, I don’t see the point in Facebook stalking because then you have no surprises when you meet the person, but I know that plenty of people stalk their prey before the first date.

4. Don’t check online dating profiles
Apparently there are people out there who like to check their online dating profiles while on a date! How rude and inconsiderate. Hell, if you’re bored with the date, then end it, but don’t blatantly check OKCupid while you’re on a date! It makes you look like a desperate scumbag that has no attention span and doesn’t care about other people. Although, if that’s what it makes you look like, then you probably are a desperate, selfish scumbag with no attention span. Either way, be respectful and don’t make your date feel like an asshole by looking at the other first date prospects.

5. Don’t text pictures of your junk
I can’t speak for all women here, but I am not a fan of provocative photos. If I want to see your junk, then I will make that fact known. Don’t just send me pictures of it. There is a high chance that you may burn my eyes (it has happened before). Maybe some people like to see the equipment before they give the first date a chance, but it’s gross and childish. It’s best to keep it in your pants until the timing is right. Who knows, you may get to whip it out after the first date!

So those are five things you should never do on a first date. Hopefully, I will be able to give pointers on what to do on a first date, but that will have to wait until I decide to go on one.